The Uchihas
by IHAVEAPETWALRUS
Summary: Shisui loved his little brothers. They were so simple. Until they weren't and one started dating a powerful and scary woman and the other a shark man. Now he had to be sure Sasuke didn't piss off Sakura so he could live to be twenty at the very least and fight the shark motherfucker he didn't trust with his innocent weasel. And where are they finding all these weird new friends!
1. Chapter 1

**Note: No Massacre! The Akatsuki is good! Members joined due to not believing in what their villages were doing! Based at Konoha. Itachi joins later. They have their cannon abilities just a different way of how they gained them. Everything shall be explained! Eventually. No major character deaths! Characters are out of character. One shots based around the Uchiha dorks and their friends. After chapter 10 I'll accept requests.**

 **Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story plot!**

 **Chapter 1: Itachi Makes a Strange New Friend**

Shisui was target training when suddenly he sensed Itachi and someone unfamiliar. They came into view soon enough and Shisui gawked slightly at the seven-foot shark man with Itachi. Who was nibbling on dango at the moment without a care in the world.

"Itachi," Shisui said bluntly.

"This is Kisame," Itachi said simply.

"Uh huh….and why did you bring a villager of the hidden mist here," he asked raising an eyebrow.

"Ex."

"What?

"Ex ninja of the village hidden in the mist," Itachi informed.

"…Can I talk to you in private?"

"Why? Can't you say it in front of him?"

"No! Itachi come with me."

"What if he gets attacked while we're gone?"

"HE IS A GIANT SHARK MAN! WHO WOULD ATTACK HIM," he exploded losing his patience with the oh so lovable oblivious to danger Itachi.

"Fishy."

"I wish you'd stop calling me a fishy," Kisame hummed.

"You were the one using shark and fish metaphors. Now you're a fishy since you don't want to be human," Itachi shrugged finishing his dango.

"That was to threaten you."

"You threatened him," Shisui asked darkly.

"I didn't feel threatened," Itachi blinked.

"Itachi go practice while I have a chat with the shark beast that threatened you."

"Fishy," Itachi corrected.

"Hey. I like him now. So I'm not a threat anymore," Kisame surrendered to the infuriated man.

"I never felt as if you were a threat," Itachi said confused.

"Would you go before you hurt my pride? I suddenly feel like being threatened and stabbed instead of listening to a little weasel like you telling me you never saw me as a threat," Kisame said not really knowing if he should be offended or hug the tiny male because frankly, he was adorable.

"Don't call me a weasel you stupid fishy," Itachi spat.

"Weasel."

"Fishy."

Weasel."

"Fishy."

"Weasel."

"Fishy."

"Wea…."

"ENOUGH! YOU'RE A FUCKING SHARK/FISHY," Shisui exploded jabbing a finger at Kisame. "AND YOU'RE A FUCKING WEASEL," he roared stabbing a finger at Itachi. "NOW SOMEONE EXPLAIN WHY MY LITTLE BROTHER JUST BROUGHT ME AN EX NINJA OF THE HIDDEN MIST HERE?! LIKE HE'S SOME INNOCENT PUPPY OR SOMETHING INSTEAD OF A MASSIVE THREAT TO OUR VILLAGE," Shisui finished.

"Because he's cute."

"Because for some damn reason he decided I was cute and I needed to be shown to his family like I am some puppy he found on the streets," Kisame said at the same time Itachi called him cute.

"I don't know who I'm going to stab first," Shisui groaned.

Itachi pointed at Kisame innocently.

"HEY," Kisame cried.

"Hi," Itachi nodded.

He snickered when Kisame raised a fist and leaned away holding his hands to block it if he actually decided to punch him for his sass.

"I give up. To put it simply to end all of this. I'm with the new group the hokage started the Akatsuki. I didn't believe in what my village was doing and left. Now my loyalty is with the leaf village and anyone related to them. Nothing more nothing less," Kisame explained.

"Let's go meet my mom now. She won't yell at you and you'll call you cute," Itachi said grabbing his wrist and dragging him along.

Shisui stared blankly at nothing in particular before facepalming so hard he'd get a bruise. Why did Itachi think giant threatening things were cute and why the hell did he have no sense of danger when it concerned himself? He started walking briskly after the pair. He still didn't trust that damn shark with his little brother.

When they got to his house Shisui smiled at Sasuke's blank look he was giving Kisame. The sixteen-year-old was about to rip into the shark man. Just you wait.

"Who's the fish," Sasuke interrupted his thoughts.

The crack of Shisui facepalming echoed around the house. Itachi looked mildly concerned for his older brother figure. Sasuke looked at him startled. Kisame was staring at the wall wondering how the hell he even got into this situation? Now there was two that considered him a fish.

"STOP CALLING HIM A FISH LIKE HE'S HARMLESS! BOTH OF YOU STOP IT RIGHT NOW," Shisui roared.

"I just want to be a shark," Kisame said depressed.

Mikoto came into the room to see what the fuss was about. She eyed the group of four carefully. Itachi looked innocent, Sasuke looked confused, Shisui was probably about to have a brain aneurism if he didn't calm the fuck down, and the stranger looked distraught. She went to him and took his hand.

"I am Mikoto Uchiha. It's a pleasure to meet you," she smiled up at him gently.

"I'm Kisame," he said awed by her sweetness and beauty. "What is it," he asked smiling softly as she beamed and giggled slightly up at him.

"You're such a cutie fishy," she cheered.

Kisame wanted to die right then and there. Shisui face walled in response.

"Hey," Itachi frowned at the hole in the wall that he made.

"NEXT PERSON THAT CALLS HIM A….."

"Who's the fish guy," Fugaku interrupted.

Shisui fainted from all the frustration. Itachi caught him before he hit the floor and carried him to the couch as Kisame was interrogated by his family. He hummed in amusement as he answered their questions and would get flustered when Mikoto kept calling him a fishy. Sasuke settled on calling him fishy bastard. Fugaku gave him mercy and just called him by his name. He left after a while claiming he had to go to his new home and unpack.

"So what do you all think of Kisame," Fugaku asked.

"He's weird but he seems ok," Sasuke shrugged.

"I think he's adorable and sweet," Mikoto smiled.

"I'm going to marry that cute fishy one day," Itachi smiled brightly.

"You marry that cute fishy Itachi," Mikoto cheered as Fugaku was sputtering and Sasuke was doubled over with laughter.

"I'm serious. I'm going to marry the cute fishy one day. Whether he likes it or not," Itachi frowned at Sasuke disapprovingly.

Fugaku looked like he was going to go murder Kisame, Sasuke paused and eyed Itachi to see if he was serious, and Mikoto looked absolutely thrilled at the thought. Shisui fainted once again without them even noticing he had woken up. He apparently woke when Itachi declared he was marrying Kisame.

"It's love at first sight," Mikoto cheered.

"I'll kill him. Itachi is too precious for him," Fugaku scowled.

"Big brother no! There are plenty more not as huge or threatening fish guys out there! Think this through! Don't make me kill him," Sasuke said grabbing his shoulders.

"I'll tell Sakura you're trying to kill my future husband and let you face her wrath," Itachi scowled making him shudder.

"Itachi….Just take it slow and only think about friendship for now before you give us more worries than we need right now," Fugaku sighed patting his head.

"Fine," Itachi relented.

 **Poor poor Shisui, he's so frustrated with Itachi right now. Because he's an overprotective dork. So is Fugaku and Sasuke though. Soon Kisame will be as well. Even though we all know that Itachi is more than capable of taking down anyone he wants. Which is why he sees no one as a threat. Which could be a good or bad thing in certain situations. Well this is the first chapter! I hope you liked it! This story will have irregular updates until I get some of my others stories finished. I wanted to start this one now before the idea left me.**


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story plot!**

 **Ch. 2: Kisame Is Wrapped Around His Finger**

As much as he called Itachi annoying he didn't really mind his company. He honestly looked forward to the times the raven would appear to harass him. Itachi was adorable and Kisame couldn't help but want him around.

"Fishy-kun," a voice called out interrupting his musing.

"Why the kun?"

"I like to mix it up sometimes," Itachi shrugged. "Anyways this group of gang bangers and a nice lady were looking for you."

"Itachi that's my boss and fellow members," he sweat dropped.

"Did he call us gang bangers," Sasori deadpanned.

"I don't really blame him. You guys look the part," Konan said eyeing them.

"HEY," Hidan snapped.

She shrugged in response. Kisame was chiding Itachi about calling them gang bangers but Itachi insisted that's what they were. Pein was really itching to smack the raven for calling them such but gave up his thought because if he was honest. That is what they looked like.

"Sorry I'm late," Orochimaru smiled walking up.

"WHY THE FUCK IS THE CROSSDRESSER PART OF YOUR TEAM," Itachi exclaimed hiding behind Kisame.

"That's mean," he pouted.

"SHUT UP! ALL YOU TALK ABOUT IS MY BODY," Itachi cried.

"But it's the perfect body," he smiled.

"OI," Kisame roared charging to him and punching him so hard he went flying miles away from the force.

"Is he gone," Itachi asked popped up from behind Pein. "He's gone," he sighed patting his head.

"When did he get there," Kakazu asked startled looking at Itachi.

"As soon as Kisame took one step I think," Konan informed.

"Anyways finish your business with Fishy now so we can go eat dango," Itachi spoke up.

"When did I say I was eating dango with you," Kisame blinked.

"You would have said yes anyways," Itachi waved him off.

"You don't know that! Stop deciding things on your own," he exclaimed.

"Fine. Will you come eat dango with me," Itachi asked.

"No," he said defiantly. Itachi pouted at him. "Ok yes," he gave in.

"Ha," he cheered.

"Weak," Hidan said nudging him.

"You try and say no to that," Kisame hissed.

"I could any day," he bragged.

"I have a feeling you will be eating your words one day," Konan laughed.

"You people hurry up I have dango to eat and a fishy to harass," Itachi demanded.

"SO YOU FINALLY ADMITT WHAT YOU HAVE BEEN DOING IS HARASSMENT?!"

"What? No. It's still just me playing. I just said harass because you call it harassment," Itachi scowled.

'He's definitely harassing him,' everyone thought as they watched the pair bicker on if it was harassment or not.

Itachi looked too smug with having all Kisame's attention focused on him now and his eyes were glowing mischievously.

"Kisame we needed you to show us around the village today. Schedule your dango eating for another day please," Pein interrupted.

"Excuse you," Itachi deadpanned.

"Itachi he's my boss. Some other time," Kisame said amused and ruffled his hair.

"I'll help you show them around then and after we can….."

"We're going over some confidential stuff as we go. Sorry Itachi-san. You can't come," Pein said apologetically.

Itachi formed a threatening aura. They backstepped from him cautiously. He pinned a glare on Pein and his eyes started to change.

"Itachi how about I hurry this up and then I treat you to all the dango you want," Kisame said hurriedly before Itachi killed anyone.

He was small, but he was a very deadly and powerful person. Kisame learned that over the passed two weeks. Kisame gave him a pleading look and Itachi settled his eyes back into their original color with a sigh. He looked at Kisame sulkily for a moment before turning on his heel.

"Don't worry about it. Some other time. You don't have to treat me," he said walking away.

"Itachi," Kisame said weakly reaching out.

"Kisame let's hurry this up and you can make it up to him," Pein insisted.

"He's being spoiled right now. Don't worry about it bro," Deidara smiled throwing an arm around him.

"Maybe but still…..I can't stand his sulking it's too cute and pitiful for me to handle," Kisame whined hiding his face into his hands.

"You'll make it up to him," Deidara laughed.

Kisame showed them around the whole village halfheartedly. Clearly sulking because his weasel was sulking. When they were finished and about to go eat dinner they spotted the raven punching Orochimaru.

"WOULD YOU STAY THE HELL AWAY FROM ME," he roared.

"BUT ITACHI! YOUR BODY IS SO STRONG AND BEAUTIFUL I NEED IT IN MY LIFE," he whined.

"STOP BEING A CREEP! NO MEANS NO," Itachi exclaimed shoving at him as he whined and clung to his waist.

"Itachi," he whined repeatedly until a giant hand lifted him by his collar.

"Oi," Kisame said darkly. "HE SAID NO YOU FUCKING CREEP! STAY AWAY OR I'LL FUCKING MURDER YOU," he roared hurling him miles away from them.

"He's so desperate for sex it's sad," Hidan sighed.

"Actually, he wants me to let him take over my body, so he can live eternally," Itachi informed.

"What the actual fuck," Deidara deadpanned.

"I don't feel like he's a good guy anymore," Konan deadpanned.

"Can we kick him out? Please? I don't feel safe," Deidara asked Pein.

"Only if he slips up," he decided.

"Well thanks for detaching the creep. I'm going home now," Itachi said walking away.

"Itachi," Kisame whined. "We can go eat dango now if you want."

"Some other time," Itachi sassed strutting along.

"Itachi wait for me," he whined chasing him.

"He has him wrapped around his finger," Hidan deadpanned.

"It's so cute," Konan giggled.

Kisame finally corned Itachi before he escaped into his house.

"Come on. Forgive me. I'll make it up to you," Kisame whined.

"There's nothing to forgive," Itachi gave in. "You didn't do anything wrong."

"But you go upset with me."

Itachi looked away and pink dusted his cheeks.

"I don't have many friends. So, when I see you spending time with others, job or not…..I get jealous," he mumbled.

Kisame stared at him a long moment then formed a shit eating grin.

"Hmmm? Jealous? Am I the only one you get jealous about," he teased then was punched in the gut making him double over in pain.

"AS IF I'D TELL YOU! STUPID! JUST BE READY TO GO EAT DANGO AT LUNCH TOMORROW YOUR TREAT," Itachi cried storming into his house with a red face and a pout.

"I LOOK FORWARD TO IT! NIGHT WEASEL-CHAN," he called out while roaring with laughter.

"SHUT UP YOU DUMB FISHY! NIGHT," he cried back and slammed his door.

"Too cute," he laughed walking away looking forward to seeing the weasel tomorrow.


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story plot!**

 **Chapter 3: Sakura Meets Kisame**

Sakura walked with her heavy basket of herbs for Tsunade. She glanced over hearing Orochimaru scream for Sasuke.

"Your brother is being very oblivious again and went on a dango date with that Kisame guy yesterday," he said as she paused to see where the conversation was going.

'Who's he,' she wondered.

She had been out of the village for several weeks to collect all the rare medical herbs she brought back. Sasuke glared at the male in front of him.

"Him being so powerful but so oblivious is terrible. Tell you what. Help me get his body and I'll put the power to good use and be your big brother instead," he offered.

"HOW ABOUT I JUST KILL YOU INSTEAD," Sasuke roared kicking and punching at him as Orochimaru screamed wildly.

"I'm sick of hearing you trying to steal his body. Die," Shisui deadpanned popping out of thin air and upper cutting him into the heavens.

"I hate him," Sasuke seethed.

"Sakura let me carry that," Itachi said appearing and stealing the basket from her.

"Itachi I had to tap into," she said and then the ground dented when he toppled with a cute started squeal and the basket hit the earth first. "They're extremely rare and heavy. I had to use charka to even carry them. It's no problem let me," she finished as he gaped at the basket.

"No! It goes against my principles," he said tapping into his chakra and lifting it. "Lead the way."

"If you insist," she said smiling and guided him along and started chattering about the weeks she spent finding the herbs and picking them then carrying them.

"Fishy," Itachi cheered after ten minutes.

"Fishy," she questioned peering to where he was looking. "That's a shark," she screeched at the sight of the huge muscular male.

"Fishy," Itachi insisted. "He's cute."

"Well he's sexy if that's what you mean but…."

"CUTE! Like a gold fish," Itachi corrected.

Sakura facepalmed. Itachi always found giant freaks of nature cute. She was starting to question his sanity.

"Weasel-chan," the man smiled walking over and patting his head.

"Hold this," Itachi said mischievously.

"Ok," Kisame said obliviously taking the basket as Sakura was about to warn him.

He grunted but held it casually using no chakra at all except in his feet to keep the ground from breaking under him from the weight. Itachi stared at him a long moment then started pushing on it trying to add weight to it with cute angry little noises. Kisame laughed letting him try to make it too heavy for him. Even letting him climb onto the basket and jump up and down on it. Sakura watched them in amusement. Kisame was teasing Itachi about being light as a feather and to give up while Itachi kept bouncing on it trying to make Kisame faulter with the basket. He gave up after a couple of minutes.

"Dummy. Stupid fishy," he pouted.

"That's rude," Kisame laughed.

"Itachi-kun now that you're done harassing him," Sakura started.

"HA," Kisame cheered glad someone agreed with him that what Itachi was doing was harassing.

"PLAYING," Itachi cried at the same time.

"Whatever you want to call it Itachi-kun. Introduce us," she smiled.

"Right. Kisame this is Sakura. Sasuke's true love though he denies it because he's shy," Itachi smiled. "Sakura this is Kisame. But you should call him fishy as well because it's a cuter name for him," he said pointing at the male.

"Nice to meet you Kisame! I'm glad you made friends with Itachi," she smiled. "Any friend of his is a friend of mine. Come talk to me anytime. Also, let's set up a time to have lunch. I'd love to hear all about how Itachi forced himself into your life."

"Hey," Itachi frowned.

"Oh you know you do that when you meet people you like. But we wouldn't have it any other way. You're the light of our day," she laughed.

"Hmmmmm. I guess I'll let your comment slide," Itachi decided after a moment of eyeing her.

"I'd love to. He's made my life more hectic but more entertaining all the same. I like it when he's around. I enjoy it very much," Kisame admitted.

"A-A-Anyways. We got to deliver the herbs now or you might get in trouble," Itachi said to Sakura cheeks dusting with pink. "Fishy give me the basket back," he demanded forcing his blush to disappear as Sakura giggled.

"Nope," he said smirking and looked at Sakura. "Lead the way. I don't want the weasel throwing out his back or you to get hurt carrying this," he smiled.

"Thank you," she laughed leading the way and he followed her.

They chattered to each other sharing joke and teasing each other as Itachi followed them. They were getting along like old friends and he liked that. Though he felt a little left out when he could never jump into the conversation. He started sulking cutely behind them with his arms crossed and a pout on his face. He wasn't paying attention when he tripped over a rock and went tumbling forward. A hand caught his arm and kept him from falling.

"Careful," Kisame chided balancing the basket on one arm gripping his arm with his free hand. "Quit sulking or you'll hurt yourself," he teased giving his arm and affectionate squeeze.

Itachi was too cute getting all jealous like that. Itachi and Sakura gaped at him.

"What?"

They pounced over him and started bouncing on the basket.

"YOU HAVE TO BE CHEATING! NO ONE IS THAT STRONG," they roared as he carried them casually with people staring at the huge blue ninja carrying a basket that had two other ninjas bouncing on it. "FREAK OF NATURE," they accused when he got to where Tsunade was.

"He truly is," she deadpanned as Kisame started laughing.

They had to put the thing in special containment so it wouldn't crash through the floor from the weight. The basket was made of the same material at the containing space that being the only reason it didn't break from the weight.

"What type of herbs weigh that much anyways," Itachi pondered.

"Life saving ones. Now shush and out of my medical office all of you," Tsunade chided.

"Wanna go eat dinner," Sakura asked the pair.

"And eat dango for dessert," Itachi cheered.

"Of course," Sakura laughed.

"How do you not get cavities," Kisame laughed.

"Because I brush my teeth really well so they can be in perfect condition to eat all the dango I want," Itachi explained.

"That's some reason you got there," Sakura and Kisame sweat dropped simultaneously.

He grinned at them and led the way to a restaurant he liked. After Kisame offered walking them both home his arms around their shoulders casually. He felt a dangerous aura suddenly and was kicked extremely hard in the back sending him skidding across the ground. Sasuke sneered at him.

"Don't touch her pervert," he snarled as Itachi knelt by Kisame poking him to see if he was alive.

"Sasuke-kun!"

"Come on. I'll take you home. As your team mate it's my job. Don't let giant freaks touch you so casually you're still a girl," he growled taking her wrist and storming off with her.

She followed him flustered and confused.

"Fishy are you dead," Itachi asked curiously as he kept poking him.

"Don't worry about it," Shisui said appearing and tossing him over a shoulder and walked away from Kisame.

"But the fishy," Itachi protested with a whine reaching out toward him with a hand but was ignored and carried away by his over protective big brother figure.

"I knew playing dead would keep me from getting further injured," Kisame said sitting up when they were gone. "I better apologize to Itachi though. He seemed concerned," he sweat dropped. "He'll probably make me buy him dango."

He started walking for his home when he heard a whoosh and someone landed in his arms.

"Shisui is so mean! Comfort me Kisame," Orochimaru cried trying to hug him.

"GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME," Kisame said punching him sending him crashing against a tree and breaking it from the force. "AND STAY AWAY FROM ITACHI AS WELL," he barked as he stormed away from the creepy man.

"So mean," he whined into the night air.

 **I'm back! I'm going to try to focus on this story this week since it was severely neglected for a while. Keep your eyes out! Thank you for being patient!**


	4. Chapter 4

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story plot!**

 **Chapter 4: Hurt Itachi**

Itachi was slightly embarrassed. On a mission due to him being careless he got hurt for the first time in years. He didn't want anyone to know considering everyone thought he was untouchable and invincible. Then they'd be ashamed of him. The men he had to handle were experiments trying to reach God level power. Which was why he had a hard time with the ten overpowered men. He had several cracked ribs, broken collar bone, fractured ankle, many rows of stitches where one sliced down his back with a sword, and lots of bruising. The healers he went to weren't that experienced so he'd need extra healing to be ride of the stitches and to at least have his collar bone healed back together. He was a chakra exhausted hobbling disaster making his way home body screaming with protest. He had bought clothes to keep the bandages and such hidden and didn't wear his sling.

No one had to know he had almost failed his mission and got hurt. They'd think he was weak and a disgrace considering how highly he was prized in the Uchiha clan and the village. He went to Tsunade and gave his report for the all clear.

"Itachi," she spoke up when he was leaving. "Don't play me a fool. Bed rest until further notice and go get healed," she said casually earning a stubborn look and the door to slam which made her chuckle amused.

As long as he didn't push it she wouldn't have to rat him out. He made his way home and walked in normally.

"How was your mission Itachi? You're back early," Mikoto smiled.

"It's taken care of. Nothing to worry about," he smiled.

"As expected," Sasuke smirked.

"Yeah yeah. I'm going to take a short shower and take a nap. Wake me for dinner pretty please with dango on top," he told his mom kissing her head as he went by.

"Of course baby. Go rest up it was a long travel back," she smiled kissing his cheek.

"Thank you," he smiled going up the stairs to his room.

He showered quickly then reapplied the bandages best to his abilities. He went to his bed and fell asleep as soon as his head hit the pillow. His temperature spiked during his slumber of vivid nightmares. Mikoto walked into his room when dinner was ready and saw how his twisted and turned frowning harshly in his sleep. Sweat was shinning on his head making her place a hand on his forehead and gasp softly. She went to the bathroom and got medicine for his fever and went to get a glass of water for him to wash it down.

"I thought you were getting Itachi, his fishy is here," Sasuke teased the shark man.

"Shut it. I just wanted to visit since I haven't seen him in a week. I want to be sure he isn't hurt," he frowned.

"Itachi doesn't get hurt stupid. No one can make a scratch on him," Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"I'm getting him medicine he spiked a fever. He may just end up sleeping but I'll let him know you're here," she smiled softly as she whisked back up to his room. "Itachi. Wake up I brought medicine for your fever," she spoke softly as she shook him. He lurched up with a start gripping her wrist harshly and panting before realizing there was no threat. "I'm sorry to spook you awake. You were having a nightmare weren't you sweet," she soothed pressing the pills to his lips.

He nodded slowly as he accepted the medicine before taking a drink of water and nuzzling his face into her reddening wrist in apology. She petted him smiling gently showing all was forgiven she knew it was an accident. He gulped more water quickly feeling like he was dehydrated.

"Dinner is ready. Would you like some? Kisame stopped by to see you as well. But if you rather sleep…."

"Fishy," Itachi said getting out of bed determined making her laugh brightly.

He was like a child with his first crush and it was adorable. He made his way to the table and plopped beside Kisame instantly. Kisame smiled amused at him.

"Fishy what made you stop by," Itachi demanded.

"To see you. I haven't been harassed in a week I felt a little lonely," he teased.

"Playing," Itachi insisted like always then smiled brightly when Kisame grinned and winked showing he was just teasing he knew all along the weasel just liked to tease and play.

"So how did the mission go? Were you hurt," he asked eyeing him.

"No, it was simple and no problem at all," Itachi smiled.

"Really," Kisame hummed putting his chin in his hand as Fugaku and Shisui got to the table.

"Itachi never gets a scratch on him. He's one of the strongest in the clan," Sasuke bragged.

"He lives up to his reputation around here. Everyone knows he is the pride of the clan being so able and strong," Fugaku nodded.

"The perfect warrior if you ask me," Shisui bragged.

"I'm not that extreme," Itachi smiled weakly.

Kisame noticed how uncomfortable he looked as the three bragged on him all throughout dinner shutting in on himself like he was hiding something. Mikoto was simply smiling and looking proud of her son.

"Want to go buy dango for desert," Kisame asked him suddenly making him brighten.

"Yes," he cheered.

"We'll bring some back," Kisame promised guiding him out.

They bought the dango from the nearby shop and Kisame glanced at him.

"You're hurt, aren't you? You're way too stiff and slow compared to normal," he hummed.

"Don't say anything to them," he murmured.

"Why not? They need to know."

NO, THEY DO NOT," he barked. "No one has to know. I won't shame them after their praise. After how they talk about me. I won't disappoint them. I'm not supposed to be hurt after a mission," he said eyes dulling. "There is no room for mistakes when it comes to me. That's just how it's always been," he murmured.

"That's stupid," Kisame said bluntly. "You're human. People make mistakes and people aren't invincible. No way in hell were you ever going to always come out without a scratch. You'll have plenty more where you'll get wounded again. That's just life. You're not a robot Itachi you're you. Don't let people make you out to be something you're not. Then beat yourself up over the fact you couldn't match their ridiculous expectations of you. Plus, I think your mom already knows something's up. Your family will understand. They won't be disappointed in you they're good people. Just tell them you need to rest for a while because you're hurt and they'll understand," he said reaching and tucking a lock of hair behind his ear as Itachi shed silent tears feeling a weight lifted off his shoulders knowing at least someone didn't expect him to be perfect. "How bad are you hurt Itachi," he asked soothingly.

"Pretty bad," he whispered snuggling into him.

"I figured," he murmured petting him. "Come on. I'll carry you home and you can go back to bed to rest," he said picking him up gently.

"Kisame," he murmured softly.

"Hhmmm?"

"Thank you," he said peering at him.

"No problem," he smiled. "Get some rest now Itachi. I know you've been tired. I'll get you home and you'll be all better soon," he smiled softly as his eyes slowly slid closed.

Mikoto was squealing when he brought the adorable sleeping bundle into the house bridal style. He shushed her playfully as he went to deliver him to bed. They figured it was the fever making him tired and his low chakra. They had noticed it was low but thought nothing of it considering sometimes he did come home with low chakra after a mission.

'How bad is he hurt,' he wondered tugging his shirt off without waking him so he could check. He frowned and tugged off his shoes then rolled up his pants leg and saw his ankle.

"Itachi," he groaned annoyed at how hurt he was but he was going around like everything was fine. "You're poorly wrapped as well. Forgive me I'm just trying to fix them don't think anything weird," he grumbled removing his pants to better access his legs and so when he rewrapped his lower back the waist of his pants wouldn't be in the way. "You're so exhausted you're not even waking up. Take better care of yourself," he chided the sleeping male going and getting an ointment from his bathroom for wounds and lifted a leg to smear it on the bruises.

"Kisame did he wake," Mikoto asked walking in.

"Ah," Kisame said peering back.

Mikoto only saw Itachi's pale sleeping face and the large male's back blocking the rest but had one of his legs propped on his shoulder and Itachi's clothes on the floor.

" _ **How dare you,"**_ She seethed murderously.

"No no no no! It's not what it looks like," Kisame cried as she lunged at him.

"I LOVE YOU LIKE MY OWN AND YOU'RE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY SLEEPING BABY BOY," she wailed trying to stab him.

"NO THAT'S NOT WHAT THIS IS," he wailed and thundering footsteps sounded.

"HE'S WHAT," three voices roared as they pushed passed each other into the room and tried to attack him.

"HE'S HURT I'M SIMPLY TRYING TO APPLY OINTMENT AND WRAP HIS WOUNDS AGAIN," he wailed moving to where they could see.

"Oh," they said dumbly.

"What's with the yelling," Itachi whined sitting up slowly.

He stared at the five people in his room four of which had apparently been attacking Kisame. He shivered at the chill in the room and peered at himself.

"Did you try to take advantage of me," he asked looking at him mischievously making him facepalm. "Hey I'm willing don't be selfish and have all the fun," he scolded playfully.

"That was not what I was doing. I hate all of you right now especially you for stirring the pot more," Kisame groaned into his hand as Itachi snickered.

"I'm sorry I thought such things about you. It just looked wrong. I love you darling," Mikoto whined snuggling into Kisame.

"I understand," he said tiredly.

"YOU'RE HURT?! WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING?! SOMEONE GET A MEDIC! ITACHI LAY DOWN! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS HAPPENED! ARE YOU OK? ARE YOU DIZZY? NAUSEATED?! IN PAIN," Fugaku panicked.

"I'LL TAKE HIM TO THE HOSPITAL I'M FASTEST," Shisui cried.

"ITACHI DON'T WORRY YOU'LL BE OK! WE'LL TAKE CARE OF YOU," Sasuke cried grabbing his hand trembling.

"OH MY POOR BABY HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN," Mikoto wailed hugging him.

"Kisame," Itachi said giving him a pleading look.

"Nope. You harassed me again I'm not going to stop the fussing and panicking. Have fun being smothered in attention," he said waving as he walked out.

"YOU DUMB FISHY," Itachi echoed as Kisame laughed leaving the house.

Two days later he visited him at his house when he was finally released from the hospital. Itachi pouted grumpily at him. Sasuke was at his side napping and Shisui was fussing over him still.

"Awww how sweet," he teased.

"They won't leave me alone," he complained.

"Excuse me WHO hid his injuries from us? YOU so now you just have to put up with our fussing," Shisui scolded.

"I didn't want anyone to be disappointed in me," he mumbled lowly.

"Itachi we told you. We'll never be disappointed in you. We're sorry we made you feel like you weren't allowed to make mistakes and you were supposed to be invincible. It was wrong of us. We're proud of you because you're you. Don't ever feel like you aren't enough," he said petting his hair.

"Itachi I bought extra pillows for you," Fugaku said racing in.

"I bought you some books to read until you're fully recovered," Mikoto smiled.

"What," he asked confused.

"You aren't leaving this house for a week," they chorused angrily.

"But but….."

"You're so grounded mister," Mikoto scolded.

"I'm an adult," he exclaimed.

"Under our roof," Fugaku scolded.

"You won't let me move out," he countered.

"You did that once and it ended badly," Mikoto snapped.

"I wasn't even the one that blew up the house with my cooking it was Shisui," Itachi exclaimed jabbing a finger at him.

"And why do you think we made him move in? Neither of you are to be trusted you're staying with me forever," Mikoto said with a final tone in her voice.

"What about when I marry Fishy," he pouted.

"Well…..When you marry your cute fishy then you can move out," she relented.

"I didn't know we were getting married," Kisame said thoughtfully.

"We are. Eventually," Itachi dismissed.

"Itachi don't propose to me," he chided then leaned over next to his ear. "It's my job to propose to you is it not," he teased lowly.

"Itachi," Shisui said worried. "Your face is getting redder did your fever rise?"

"YOU DUMB FISHY," Itachi cried over Kisame's laughter and headbutted him.

"OW! So mean," he laughed holding his forehead as Itachi fumed adorably.

"Kisame what did you do," Shisui accused as Mikoto was now fussing over the lump on Itachi's forehead.

"Oi," Sasuke's deadly voice rang out suddenly. "You'll never get the chance to propose to him because you'll be dead soon enough," he snarled and chased the cackling shark all the way back to Konoha.

'You sure have an entertaining family Itachi,' Kisame thought amused. 'They love you very much.'


	5. Chapter 5

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story plot!**

 **Chapter 5: Itachi Escapes!**

He was tired over being in bed with everyone fussing over him. Sure, he was still healing but he wasn't incapable of at least going to the bathroom by himself. That and his dumb fishy hadn't visited him in several days. Which soured his mood even more. Shisui carried his soup in smiling gently at him.

"I know you don't like being in bed Ita," he smiled petting his head. "But it will go quicker than you think then you can run around as much as you like without us fussing over you."

"You lost your right to your pet names you call me. You may only call me by my full name," he sassed tossing his head.

"And why did I lose them," Shisui laughed.

"Because you won't let me do anything for myself," he complained as Shisui was feeding him spoonfuls of soup then blinked and snarled at him. "YOU'RE DOING IT AGAIN," he cried stealing the spoon from him.

"Aw come on just let me take care of you," he laughed holding his hands in surrender.

"No way," he said tossing his head. "I'm tired off all of you taking care of me. I'm fine," he said crossing his arms.

"You're not fine. You're still healing," he chided.

"Dad won't even let me go to the bathroom alone," he scowled.

"Ok that is a little over board I'll talk to him about it," he laughed.

"You better," he scowled at him and started feeding himself.

"Anyways are you in any pain at all? Its about time for your pain medicine again isn't it?"

"I'm not in any pain," he snapped.

Shisui raised an eyebrow at him. Itachi ate his food giving him the silent treatment. He peered at him after a couple of minutes and swallowed his food as his eyes trailed away lips turning down pink dusting his cheeks. Shisui laughed petting his head once again.

"I got it. Let me go get your pain medicine. Next time just do us both a favor and just say yes I you're hurting," he said walking out as Itachi tossed his head stubbornly.

When he came back the bed was empty. He went to the bathroom and knocked on the door before opening it. It was empty as well. Shisui facepalmed as Sasuke came into the room.

"What?"

"Itachi escaped," Shisui snarled. "THAT LITTLE WEASEL TRICKED ME!"

"HOW COULD YOU JUST LET HIM TRICK YOU LIKE THAT?! DAMN IT SHISUI! LET'S GO FIND HIM HE COULDN'T HAVE GOTTEN THAT FAR," Sasuke roared then went zooming off to find his elder brother.

"Well it was like caging a lion. It was only a matter of time," Mikoto sighed hearing them from down stairs.

Itachi was happy to be free. He went to his favorite little restaurant in the village and ate dango. Then shopped around at the market. He was finally free to do as he pleased and not be stuck in his bed. Until he saw a certain shark man laughing with his arm around Konan. She was laughing with him pink dusting her cheeks. Itachi's world stopped for a moment as Kisame kissed the top of her head.

"Itachi," Konan spoke up spotting him.

"I have to go back home I can't stay and talk," he smiled falsely.

"Itachi you…." Kisame started but Itachi was gone in a blur in the next second.

'No wonder he didn't visit me. He found himself a girlfriend. She's really pretty and nice so of course he'd fall for her. I'm just me someone he would never love because I'm too complicated,' he thought miserably sitting on his favorite rock at his secret training grounds in the forest.

He decided to train with his shuriken since he was already there. Surely that would help him expel some of his pent-up aggression and frustration. He paused when he felt a familiar presence.

"I'm not going home to be forced to stay in bed so just leave," he snapped throwing another. "Just go away and don't even think about telling my family where I'm at."

"I wasn't going to," Sakura sighed shrugging. "Itachi. What's wrong?"

"I'm tired of being stuck in my bed," he huffed throwing another.

"You look like you had your heart broken," she said bluntly startling him as he threw another.

It hit one of the shuriken in the target and ricocheted back at him grazing his cheek as it went by him. A red stream of blood rolled down his cheek and dripped off his chin. Tears followed suit not much after. Sakura walked to him and healed his cut then pulled his head to rest on her shoulder. She stroked his hair silently as his tears soaked her shirt and his trembling arms clung to her.

"Kisame hasn't come to see me the last several days. Now I know why. He has a girlfriend," he sobbed into her shoulder eventually.

"Itachi," she murmured sadly.

They were best friends. His pain was her pain and her pain was his. That was just the way their friendship worked.

"I know it seems stupid because I haven't known him that long. But I love him," he sobbed.

"Who's his girlfriend," she asked gently.

"Konan," he whimpered.

She sighed with relief. Konan was most definitely not his girlfriend. They were actually cousins by a marriage in their families.

"Itachi they're cousins they aren't dating. They just grew up around each other like siblings so they seem close. Also Konan is Pein's fiancé he'd kill someone if they tried to date her," she soothed.

"Really," he sniffled.

"Really. I would never lie to you Itachi," she smiled.

"Ok," he murmured.

"ITACHI," Sasuke roared charging over.

"Why is everyone finding my secret spot," he exclaimed making Sakura laugh.

Sasuke eyed Itachi then frowned grimly.

"It was just a misunderstanding he's fine now don't bombard him with questions," Sakura intervened making Sasuke sigh.

"Alright. Itachi, come on everyone is looking for you," he said walking over briskly and suddenly scooping up and grabbing the few things he bought from the market.

"Sasuke," Itachi sputtered pushing at him.

"You still look like you cried your eyes out. If you don't want people noticing on the way back stay still," he said bluntly hand pressing Itachi's head to hide into his neck.

"I," he fumbled then blushed. "Thank you," he murmured weakly as Sasuke took off back towards home.

Once home Sasuke contacted Shisui and his father to let them know he found him and now he was back in bed. Mikoto fussed a moment over Itachi before leaving him alone. The other two came back and scolded him wildly before giving in and admitting maybe they went overboard with all the fussing.

"I do appreciate it though. It showed you cared a whole lot for me. Thank you," Itachi admitted.

"We're family its what we do. Now please don't escape anymore I'm too old to be chasing you around," his dad teased.

"Alright fine," Itachi laughed. "It causes a lot of problems anyways," he smiled.

"ITACHI," Kisame roared busting into the room. "WHAT WERE YOU DOING OUT OF BED YOU DUMB WEASEL!"

"FISHY! DID YOU BRING ME DANGO," Itachi beamed instead of answering.

"UGH! Yes, I did," he gave in giving him the package of dango he brought with him.

"Thank you Fishy," he cheered.

"Yeah yeah just don't be out of your house too soon," he smiled.

"Then come visit me more," Itachi pouted.

"I got it I got it. I'll visit once a day," Kisame said holding his hands in surrender.

After all he really did miss his little weasel. It wasn't a good day without him.


	6. Chapter 6

**I own nothing but the story plot!**

 **Chapter 6: Shisui and Itachi Fight**

"ITACHI! SOMETIMES I CAN'T EVEN! GET AWAY FROM ME AND DON'T COME NEAR ME ANYMORE! I'M SO SICK OF HAVING TO WORRY OVER YOUR ASS," Shisui roared after having to keep perverts from harassing an oblivious Itachi.

Itachi had made a joke about his protectiveness and didn't see the full extent of the problem. It pissed Shisui off worse. He was already pissed at the demons daring to harass his angel. So, he just exploded on the adorable weasel who looked shocked then tossed his head angrily as he crossed his head.

"I DON'T NEED YOU LOOKING AFTER ME ANYWAYS! SO FINE! I WON'T EVER COME NEAR YOU AGAIN! STUPID SHISUI! IDIOT! I DON'T NEED YOU LOOKING AFTER ME SO GO GET A NEW HOBBY," he cried storming off.

"GOOD! MY LIFE WILL BE SO MUCH BETTER WITHOUT THE STRESS OF HAVING YOU AROUND," he roared.

"GOOD! YOU'RE NOT MY BIG BROTHER ANYMORE!"

"FINE! YOU'RE NOT MY LITTLE BROTHER ANYMORE," Shisui roared childishly.

"FIIINNEEE," Itachi roared back just as childishly then they stormed in opposite directions.

"I give it two days," Mikoto deadpanned.

"I give it three days," Sasuke betted against her.

"A week," Fugaku bet.

"Loser has to clean the chicken coop for a month," Mikoto smiled.

They had started raising chickens for eggs recently because Itachi had bought baby chicks that he thought were too cute not to have. Fugaku couldn't say no and ended up building a coop for the five birds. Itachi was ecstatic and gave him a bunch of hugs and cuddling for a week. Which only made him buy Itachi more chickens but older that were about to start laying eggs because he wanted more affection from his adorable son. Mikoto called him out on it and he ended up having to help Itachi with the chickens. But when Mikoto and the other two ended up adding to the chickens they had to start helping as well considering now they had twenty chickens and a huge coop.

"EW," Sasuke laughed. "But you're so on," he grinned.

"Fine by me," Fugaku agreed.

Hours later when dinner was ready the pair ran into each other then bristled and snarled at each other until they were separated. Itachi was sulky the rest of the day and looked pitiful. Sasuke whacked Shisui over the head sneering then went to go comfort his big brother. He'd always be on Itachi's side he was his precious big brother. Even though he did understand why Shisui was so angry over Itachi being oblivious to perverted men. He hated the perverts that chased after his brother. They avoided each other like a plague the over the next few days. Everyday there was avoidance, snarling, glaring, stomping, or snappy remarks. Itachi spent a lot of time with Kisame to avoid going home.

Kisame had agreed with Shisui but he went about it the wrong way so he kept his favorite weasel company but was sure to let him know that Shisui was right about him needing to be more aware and he was putting himself in danger when he didn't pay attention to what men where after when they were treating him nicely. Itachi understood why Shisui was mad but what he had said had hurt his feelings so he had lashed out back but he regretted it now. Now he was too scared to try to make up in fear of being rejected. He wouldn't be able to stand it if Shisui denied him as a brother and really started to hate him. Shisui mainly spent time with Kakashi one of his best friends. He ranted to him a lot about Itachi but Kakashi only chuckled and ruffled his hair reassuring him that they would make up soon. Which he denied stubbornly saying he didn't want to make up.

"Itachi are you sure you're ok," Kisame chuckled petting the trembling weasel tucked into his side.

"Yes," he protested.

"Sure the movie didn't care you?"

"Not at all!"

"Because you seem pretty frightened."

"I'm not," he said whacking his arm sulking.

"I'm glad," he chuckled.

"Stupid fishy stop laughing," he whined.

"I'm not laughing," he teased then laughed when he was getting smacked repeatedly. "Ok ok I'm sorry. I surrender," he said grinning as he caught the hands assaulting him.

"You better," he scowled then the clock chimed saying it was midnight. "I better head home. Thank you for spending time with me fishy," he said climbing off the couch.

"Want me to walk you home," he asked getting up as well.

"No. I'm fine," he smiled.

"Well be careful on your way back. I'd be mad if something happened to my weasel," he teased as he walked him to the door and Itachi slipped his shoes on.

"Stupid fishy nothing is going to happen," he said then stuck his tongue out at him playfully.

"Better not. Good night Itachi," he chuckled giving him a hug before he walked out.

"Night," he called back as the door shut.

Itachi shivered slightly in the cold as he walked back home. No one was out except a few stragglers. He got to the path to the Uchiha clan area. He heard something and remembered the movie when there was a scene the guy got stalked by the monster before it killed him. Itachi shuddered as his heart started to race. Soft growls were heard and he sped up. Heavy footsteps followed him in response. Fear seized him and he bolted down the path. His feet tripped up on the stairs making him tumble down the last of them. His ankle throbbed painfully when he fumbled to get up. There was a loud roar and the figure pounced.

"SHISUI," his terrified voice echoed into the night sky.

"HA," a voice cried. "I knew you still loved your big brother and needed him. Now go make up with him you brat," Kakashi said fondly appearing near him and petted his head.

"What? You? Why," he fumbled.

"I heard you were watching a movie with Kisame tonight. A horror movie apparently. Shisui found out and ranted about how the demon better not take advantage of you because you're not good with horror movies and you're skittish for days," he teased. "So, I figured I'd teach you a lesson. Not matter how big you get you're always going to depend on your big brother Itachi. Let him take care of you no matter how annoying it might be at times. He adores you more than anything in this world. Now go make up," he smiled.

His emotions spilled over in that moment. He was sad because of the fight he and Shisui had. He was heartbroken because Shisui didn't want to be his big brother anymore. Now he was scared because of the stupid movie he watched. Though he was also terrified Shisui wouldn't let him be his little brother anymore. Tears flooded his face and wails rang from his mouth pitifully.

"Hmph there you go. Let it out. Now call for your big brother so he can come rescue you. Little brat," Kakashi said fondly as he continued to pet his hair a moment longer then disappeared to give him privacy and a final push to call for his big brother.

Not matter where he was at if Itachi was in distress Shisui always seemed to sense it or happened to be in the right area at the right time. Everyone knew that for a fact even Itachi. He didn't want to be alone when he was hurting and scared.

"Shisui," he blubbered in a chant as he scrubbed his eyes and his body trembled with fear.

"It's ok," a voice soothed above him and he was lifted with ease. "It's ok Ita," he said fondly as he walked.

"I'm…so…..sorry," he chanted hiding his face into his shoulder.

"I'm sorry too. I should have never said those cruel things. You'll always be my little brother Itachi. Nothing could ever change that. I love you too much to stop being your big brother."

"I love you too. I need you. Big brother Shisui," he sobbed cutely.

"Aaawwwww I know you do sweetheart you get into too much trouble without me. Where would you be right now if I wasn't here? Balling your eyes out alone where the monsters can get you," he teased making him grip tighter to him.

"Don't say that. I'm already…" Itachi fumbled the trailed off and blushed in embarrassment.

"Oh? You're already what? Hmmm?"

"Shisui," he whined.

"If you don't tell me I won't know. Well anyways want to know what they look like and eat? There's an old myth that the evil spirits of old shinobi possess animals and they turn into monsters who eat….."

"Shisui stop it," Itachi pleaded.

"Young shinobi who have black hair and….."

"Shisui I'm scared! Quit it," Itachi cried hiding his face once again.

Shisui laughed adoringly and continued carrying him home offering soothing words and reassurances he was just teasing there was no such myth that was true about monsters that ate shinobi. That even if there were he'd protect Itachi from them. Itachi continued to pout and sulk as Shisui cleaned his scrapes from his fall and wrap his ankle once home. Once he was all tucked into bed Shisui gave him a goodnight hug and went to his own room across the hall. The next morning, he woke to adoring awwws echoing around him. He opened his eyes and saw the other three in the doorway amused and felt a sneaky invader in his bed all snuggled up with him. Shisui laughed brightly petting his raven hair as Itachi slept clinging to Shisui in his sleep.

"So, you two made up," Sasuke asked smiling.

"We did. He was too adorable to stay mad at," he teased.

"I'm sure," Sasuke snorted.

"As punishment for fighting with each other you two are in charge of the coop for a month," Mikoto scolded making him scowl and the other two roar with laughter.

"You lost! You lost the bet and pushed the job on them," Sasuke cackled.

"There were no rules against it. Besides I'm the mom I can do whatever I want," she sassed walking out.

"So that's where Itachi gets his sass from huh dad," Sasuke asked.

"Yes," he agreed chuckling. "Wake up Itachi it's time for breakfast," he instructed Shisui as he led Sasuke away.

"Alright," Shisui smiled then shock Itachi's shoulder. "Wakey wakey Itachi. Time to eat," he said as the male started to squirm.

"No," he huffed nuzzling his face harder into his chest trying to go back to sleep.

"Yes," Shisui laughed. "Or else," he threatened.

"Or else what," Itachi challenged defiantly.

"Or else the tickle monster would come," he smirked.

Itachi had always been afraid of monsters. He hated the thought of it. But he also hated tickles. He had always been a very ticklish person since he was a kid. Shisui tortured him with it when they were younger. He hadn't been tickled in years but the threat had him running. Shisui chased him laughing and caught him at the stairs.

"I'M GOING! SHISUI! I'M GOING! HEY! I'M NOT A KID! DON'T! SHISUI! DON'T TREAT ME LIKE A KID," he cried struggling in his arms as he carried him.

"Are you not? To me you're the biggest kid there is," he teased starting to drill his fingers into his sides making him erupt into laughter.

"NOOO," Itachi howled laughing as Shisui tortured him all the way to the table as his family offered no assistance and just laughed at the pair.

"I'll buy you dango when we go to the village so don't pout," Shisui laughed stopping his attack after setting him in his chair.

"Fine," Itachi huffed.

"Fine," Shisui mocked scribbling his side making him giggle and bat his hand away.

"I'm so glad to see you getting along again. My heart hurt watching you two fight. Shisui looked so conflicted and clearly wanted to make up. Then my poor Tachi looked like he was going to burst into tears every day," Mikoto sighed.

"Mom," Itachi whined.

"You did look like a kicked puppy," his father teased.

"Dad," he whined blushing.

"So adorable yet pitiful," Sasuke teased.

"HMPH," he huffed tossing his head pouting angrily choosing to ignore them now.

"Alright alright leave him alone he's had enough," Shisui laughed.

Itachi continued to pout at his family until they apologized amused. Itachi was too cute when he got all sulky like that. They couldn't resist him.


	7. Chapter 7

**Disclaimer: I own nothing but the story plot!**

 **Chapter 7: Sai comes to Itachi for advice**

"So, you want me to teach you how to get a date," Itachi asked confused.

"With Ino. But first I need to learn how to deal with women. You have plenty stalking you, so I figured you would be the best option."

"Wait what," Itachi blinked.

"Nothing," Sai said flinching as a fan girl raised a knife threateningly with her followers.

"Ok so first lets practice being normal and polite," Itachi said guiding him along thoughtfully. "Go in there and tell the clerk something nice about herself," he said shoving him to a store.

"Itachi what are you doing," Shisui asked eyeing him suspiciously as he walked up.

"Teaching Sai to be normal," he said simply.

"I don't think you're qualified for that job," Shisui said bluntly making Itachi look offended.

"I'll have you know I am…."

There was a screech that cut him off and Sai ran from the store. Itachi watched his retreating figure startled then saw the clerk come out with many knives with paper bombs attached.

"ARE YOU WITH HIM," she roared.

"RUN BEFORE SHE KILLS YOU WITH HER BOMBS AND SHIT," Itachi cried bolting and Shisui disappeared as well.

"What did you do," Shisui demanded when they caught up with Sai.

"I complimented her outfit," he said confused.

"How did you compliment it," Itachi pressed.

"I said it was great that she could find an outfit to accessorize her orange skin," he said obliviously.

"Sai listen to me. Don't shit talk a woman's tan. They'll murder you," Itachi said seriously.

"But I wasn't…."

"Shush! You made it seem that way! Now let's go find someone else to practice on. Someone used to you so they won't try to kill us," Itachi decided.

"Alright," he smiled.

Shisui followed the pair so if Sai made someone try to murder him at least he could get Itachi out of the cross fire. They ran into Sakura on the street and Sai went to her.

"You look as homely as ever Sakura," he said smiling.

"EXCUSE YOU," she roared lifting a light post and threw it.

"RUN," Itachi cried grabbing Sasuke who had just appeared and Shisui transported them out of the way panicking.

"What the hell is going on," Sasuke demanded.

"I'm trying to teach Sai to be normal," Itachi piped up.

"I don't think you qualify to teach people to be normal," Sasuke frowned.

"HEY," Itachi cried.

Why did everyone keep saying that? He was perfectly normal thank you very much. At least he wasn't like Sai who was the most abnormal person he had ever met. Sai eventually made it back to them though he was sporting some wounds. Never anger Sakura you'll be lucky to live.

"Lets just go try someone else," Itachi sighed.

"Right," Sai said warily.

"Maybe we should tell Kisame his weasel keeps getting into trouble with his two brothers and that Sai guy. They're going to get killed soon. This is the twentieth person I've seen chasing them with a blood thirsty aura," Konan frowned.

"Yeah," Pein agreed warily as a woman was caught Sai and started beating him up.

"Alright Sai if you haven't figured out how to be normal and talk to a girl by now, you're a lost cause lets go visit Ino," Itachi said patting his back.

"You're right! I'm ready," he said determined.

"Alright let's go," Itachi cheered guiding him into the store then walked out to leave him alone with her. "Alright if he runs out, we bolt I'm not in the mood to die by Ino's hands," Itachi told the other two.

Surprisingly though he came out with a giggling Ino and they were chattering about going to lunch. Itachi smiled proud of his little weirdo finally able to go on a date with his crush. Then a threatening aura formed behind them.

"Where is Sai," the women asked in a deadly tone all together.

"RUN," Itachi screamed bolting.

Thirty minutes later Shisui, Sasuke, and Itachi were in the forest leaning on trees breathing heavily trying to catch their breath.

"I hate Sai," Sasuke growled.

"Agreed," Shisui sighed.

"I wish we hadn't exhausted our chakra with all the escaping we did today," Itachi whined flopping to the ground. "I wanna go home and nap," he groaned.

"Same," Sasuke said flopping next to him and snuggling into his side.

"I hate my life. Alright you bums nap while I gather enough chakra to get us home alive," Shisui groaned sitting down waiting for it to build back up.

They grumbled about being called bums but shut their eyes anyways. Shisui concentrated for maybe five minutes before conking out himself. So, they were a sight to behold when Kisame and Fugaku found them later. Fugaku huffed a laugh and scooped Sasuke up then nudged Shisui to wake up. Who groaned at the favoritism as Kisame picked Itachi up without waking him and the five were off to the Uchiha home. Once Kisame had Itachi tucked in he turned to leave only to have his wrist caught.

"Stay," Itachi mumbled.

"Always," Kisame couldn't help but smile as he climbed into bed with him and cuddled him close.

'I hardly know you and yet I feel like I've known you all my life. I just want to keep you close. For the rest of my life I want you there with me by my side always. How can I love someone so much that I hardly know,' Kisame pondered in his head. 'Still. I'm grateful that you've shoved yourself into my life. I wouldn't have it any other way. My precious and adorable little weasel,' he thought chuckling softly.

"What are you thinking about," Itachi murmured sleepily.

"You," he smiled.

"Good," Itachi whispered before drifting off to sleep only for Kisame to follow suit.

"GET OUT OF MY ANGELS BED YOU SHARK SPAWN OF SATAN," Shisui's voice roared hours later waking them up.

Kisame ran out laughing with a livid over protective brother on his heels promising his death. Mikoto had to intervene before Shisui did something stupid like hurt the precious fishy her son adored to much even if it was his intentions to hurt the fishy, she wasn't going to allow it. Itachi ran down the stairs to where Shisui was screaming at the top of his lung at Kisame who was laughing and hiding behind Makoto. Itachi pounced on Shisui's back and yanked his hair.

"Stop being mean to fishy!"

"Stop pulling hair you brat," Shisui exclaimed trying to get him off.

"No!"

They bickered wildly as the rest laughed at the pair. The two were certainly goofy and perfect brothers that clearly adored each other more than anything.


End file.
